In my twenty years covering German politics, I’ve witnessed everything from heated debates over sausage subsidies to fistfights over fiscal policy. But nothing—absolutely nothing—has provided more unintentional comedy than watching the Bundestag’s reluctant march into the digital age. Picture this: some of Europe’s most powerful politicians struggling to unmute themselves during virtual sessions while nuclear policy hangs in the balance. If you thought your grandparents’ Zoom calls were painful, try watching a parliamentary committee meeting.
Parliament – The Wi-Fi Password Is “Democracy1234”
Last month, I attended the much-anticipated “Digital Parliament Summit” in Berlin, where experts gathered to discuss cybersecurity innovations. The irony wasn’t lost on anyone when the keynote speaker—a renowned cybersecurity guru from SANS—couldn’t connect his presentation because, and I quote, “the parliament’s security protocols are incompatible with modern technology.”
A senior IT administrator later confided in me that they still have computers running Windows XP in some offices. “But don’t worry,” he whispered, “they’re not connected to the internet.” Well, that’s reassuring! Nothing says “cutting-edge governance” like operating systems old enough to vote.
Parliament – When Hacking Meets Tradition
The 2015 cyberattack on the Bundestag remains a sore spot for German officials. What most news outlets didn’t report was that several MPs had passwords like “Bundestag123” and “Password1.” One parliamentarian reportedly had his password written on a Post-it note stuck to his monitor—with a helpful label reading “Computer Password” in case he forgot what those random characters were for.
Since then, Germany has invested heavily in cybersecurity measures. The Federal Foreign Office now requires complex passwords changed every 30 days. This has resulted in what staffers affectionately call “Password Panic Day,” when you can witness dignified diplomats frantically searching their desks for where they wrote down their new credentials.
“We’ve implemented state-of-the-art security protocols,” boasted one tech official at the summit. When I asked if they’d considered biometric authentication, he looked genuinely puzzled before responding, “We don’t want MPs scanning their fingerprints. Have you seen how many hands they shake? It’s a hygiene issue.”
The Digital Voting Debacle
Last year’s pilot program for digital voting within committees provided enough material for a sitcom season. During one crucial budget vote, an unnamed MP (who happens to chair the technology committee) accidentally voted “yes” three times because he “thought the system wasn’t working.” Another proudly announced he was boycotting the digital system altogether, preferring to “vote like our democratic forefathers intended—by raising our hands like humans, not clicking like robots.”
The AfD party, now Germany’s second-largest, has taken a particularly interesting stance. One AfD representative told me, “We support technological advancement, but only German technology.” When I pointed out that most of the systems were developed by American companies, he abruptly ended our interview.
The Future Looks… Interesting
Despite the comedic stumbles, Germany’s parliament is making strides. The new coalition government has approved a half-trillion euro fund partly aimed at modernizing government infrastructure. Experts predict the Bundestag will be fully digitized by 2030, just in time for whatever technology replaces our current systems.
As Friedrich Merz prepares to likely become chancellor, his three-step plan for reshaping German policy includes “restoring Germany’s capacity to engage effectively”—which many hope includes the capacity to conduct a video call without technical difficulties.
So next time you’re frustrated by your office IT issues, take comfort in knowing that the people deciding national security policies are dealing with the same problems—just with higher stakes and lower computer literacy. Democracy moves slowly, but apparently, parliamentary tech adoption moves even slower.
